You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize