Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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