he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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