Christians are straight up FREAKS
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
