So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
