Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Randomize
