Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
