Dual....:-)
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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