I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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