i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
