not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
