i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
