put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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