East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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