He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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