This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You're like the curious george of whores
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
