I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
