I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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