where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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