Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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