ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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