You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
a search helicopter?!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
