i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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