I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
