Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize