She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
