Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
