don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
