"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
