he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize