Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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