Can Purell be used as lube?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
