Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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