Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
