is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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