my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
