She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
