Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
