So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
