3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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