she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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