I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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