its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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