I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
so much tequila, so little girl.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
