So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize