Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
