would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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