the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So many bounce houses so little time
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize