i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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