$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
