Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
