i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
