What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
