Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
