Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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