I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
NoShamevember. You game?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
