I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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