Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
