so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm at about main and main street
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
