the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
