U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
