if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
