apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
