i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
