If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can't turn off my feet"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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