He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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