no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
