I love black thongs
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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