sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
high people should be assigned attendants
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
