no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
