Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
