First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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