I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
