You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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